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HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?

 

LEFT

RIGHT

 

BOTH

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?

 

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

YES

NO

MULTIPLE

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

 

 

PART IV - REASON FOR

FILING THIS REPORT

 

 

 

 

 

(Mark all that apply)

 

 

 

I am thin skinned

 

 

The Dept needs to fix my problems

 

Two beers is not enough

 

 

I am a wimp

 

 

My feelings are easily hurt

 

My hands should be in my pockets

 

I have woman / man-like hormones

 

I didn't sign up for this

 

I was not offered a tissue

 

 

I am a crybaby

 

 

I was told that I am not a hero

 

Someone requested a tissue

 

 

I want my mommy

 

 

The weather is too cold

 

All of the above and more

 

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

Documents used along the form

The Hurt Feelings Report form may be accompanied by several other documents that can help clarify or support the claims made within it. Below is a list of these forms, each with a brief description.

  • Incident Report Form: This form provides detailed information about the specific incident that caused the hurt feelings. It typically includes the date, time, location, and individuals involved.
  • Witness Statement Form: Individuals who observed the incident can fill out this form. It captures their perspective and can lend credibility to the claims made in the Hurt Feelings Report.
  • Emotional Impact Statement: This document allows the individual to describe how the incident affected them emotionally. It offers a more in-depth look at their feelings and reactions.
  • Support Request Form: If additional support is needed, this form can be used to request resources such as counseling or mediation services.
  • Follow-Up Report: This form is used to document any ongoing effects of the incident, such as continued emotional distress or changes in behavior.
  • Resolution Agreement: If the parties involved reach an understanding or agreement, this document outlines the terms and conditions of that resolution.
  • Counseling Referral Form: This form is used to refer the individual to counseling services. It includes information about available resources and how to access them.
  • Feedback Form: After the process is complete, this form allows the individual to provide feedback on how their report was handled and any suggestions for improvement.
  • Durable Power of Attorney: This form allows individuals to delegate authority to another person for managing their financial and healthcare decisions, ensuring their wishes, as specified, are respected, such as with a Durable Power of Attorney.
  • Confidentiality Agreement: This document ensures that any sensitive information shared during the process remains confidential, protecting the privacy of all parties involved.

These forms and documents collectively assist in addressing and resolving issues related to hurt feelings, ensuring that all aspects of the situation are documented and considered. Proper completion and submission of these forms can facilitate a more effective response and resolution.

Similar forms

  • Incident Report Form: Like the Hurt Feelings Report, this document collects detailed information about an event, including the date, time, and location. Both forms aim to document an individual's experience, though the Incident Report is typically used for more serious matters, such as accidents or crimes.
  • Complaint Form: This document allows individuals to express dissatisfaction regarding a service or behavior. Similar to the Hurt Feelings Report, it encourages the person to articulate their feelings and experiences, often with the goal of seeking resolution or acknowledgment.
  • Grievance Form: A grievance form is used in workplaces to report issues that affect an employee's well-being or work environment. Much like the Hurt Feelings Report, it provides a structured way to detail specific incidents that caused distress, aiming to address and resolve the concerns.
  • Motor Vehicle Bill of Sale: Essential for anyone buying or selling a vehicle in Virginia, this form documents the transfer of ownership. Properly completing the Bill of Sale is vital, and you can download a blank form to facilitate the process.
  • Feedback Form: This document is commonly used to gather opinions about a service or experience. It shares similarities with the Hurt Feelings Report in that both invite individuals to express their thoughts and feelings, although feedback forms are generally more constructive and aimed at improvement.
  • Emotional Support Request Form: This form is used to seek assistance from mental health professionals or support services. Similar to the Hurt Feelings Report, it focuses on the emotional state of the individual and seeks to provide help, although it is typically more serious in nature and addresses mental health needs directly.

Misconceptions

There are several misconceptions surrounding the Hurt Feelings Report form that can lead to confusion. Understanding these misconceptions is crucial for anyone considering using the form.

  • This form is a joke and not taken seriously. While the wording may seem humorous, the form is a legitimate way to document feelings of hurt. It is important to approach it with the seriousness it deserves.
  • Anyone can fill out the form without restrictions. The form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer. It is not enough to simply fill it out and submit it elsewhere.
  • The form guarantees a response or action from authorities. Submitting the form does not guarantee that any specific action will be taken. It is a way to document feelings, not a formal complaint process.
  • Filing a report will lead to immediate support. While the department expresses a willingness to help, there is no assurance that assistance will be provided immediately or in the way one expects.
  • There are no consequences for filing a report. Repeated use of the form may lead to a negative label, as suggested in the document. This could affect how individuals are viewed by others.
  • Using the form is a sign of weakness. Seeking help for hurt feelings is a valid response to emotional distress. It is important to recognize that everyone experiences hurt feelings at some point.

Understanding these misconceptions can help individuals make informed decisions about whether to use the Hurt Feelings Report form and how to approach the situation effectively.

Understanding Hurt Feelings Report

  1. What is the purpose of the Hurt Feelings Report form?

    The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to assist individuals in documenting instances where they feel their feelings have been hurt. This form allows individuals to express their grievances and seek sympathy from someone who may care. While the disclosure of information is voluntary, it provides a structured way to communicate feelings of distress.

  2. Who should fill out this form?

    This form should be filled out by individuals who feel their feelings have been hurt, referred to in the form as "whiners." It is important that the individual submitting the report is the one directly affected by the incident, as their perspective is essential for understanding the situation.

  3. What kind of information is required on the form?

    The form requires several pieces of information, including:

    • The name, age, and sex of the individual reporting their hurt feelings.
    • The date and time when the hurtful comments occurred.
    • The location of the incident.
    • Details about the person who made the hurtful comments.
    • A narrative section where the individual can describe how their feelings were hurt.

    These details help create a comprehensive report of the incident.

  4. What happens after the form is submitted?

    Once the form is physically placed in the hands of a Law Enforcement Officer, it will be reviewed. The department takes hurt feelings seriously and aims to provide appropriate support. If necessary, a "hugger" may be dispatched to offer comfort. In more serious cases, an EMS team may be called to assist further.

  5. Is there any follow-up support available for individuals who submit this report?

    Yes, individuals who submit the Hurt Feelings Report form can request supplemental support. This may include items like a "blankie," a "binky," or even a bottle, depending on the needs expressed in the report. The department aims to provide reasonable efforts to ensure that individuals feel supported and cared for after experiencing hurt feelings.